Summer Fling

No worries! Not happening. But, it sure does seem to be the topic of discussion everywhere I go. And an interesting topic it is…

It actually started a little bit before I left for Cuenca when a certain someone found out that my host mother has a rather close to my age son, not to mention the fact that the boy from Switzerland who also lives here has already found himself an Ecuadorian lover.  (By the way, I didn’t know about him until my host mother told me at the Cuenca airport.) My question is, “how????” How does one actually find someone in six weeks? And what’s more, how can someone allow it to happen when there will be an inevitable separation in the very near future?

Don’t worry readers, I won’t get too personal with you nor am I feeling any need to have a summer fling! I just think it’s interesting to watch it happen and listen to how it needs to happen for me as well. Sonia says I need to “live in the moment.” She has said it on more than one occasion….

Let me introduce you to Sonia. She is my host mother and she is a doll. I was actually a little worried about Sonia after my first day here in Cuenca, because she is SUPER organized and is always and forever cleaning and cooking. I get tired just watching her. She cleans the whole house every morning, then cooks our lunch, then cleans again, and makes us take off our shoes to put on slippers so we don’t dirty the house. She is super woman. 

However, despite her strict cleaning schedule, she has an attitude about life that I wouldn’t quite match with someone of her mad (mad as in amazing) organizational skills.

It was probably Tuesday of this week. She sat down at the breakfast table with me and since I, too, love to talk about romantic things, we began to have a conversation about love. Okay, maybe I WILL get a little personal with you, but it’s no secret to anyone who knows me. I’m a hopeless romantic. But what doesn’t quite work so well for me is the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic with really high expectations of what I think love should look like. I have had this conversation with SO MANY people, and now let me go ahead and express myself to everyone else who may know me! Basically, I have created this idea in my head that when the time is right (IF there is a time, because I know that it might not be in the cards for me), I will know it. It won’t be something stressful, it won’t be something painful, and there will be no doubt as to whether or not I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. And I most certainly won’t have a constant battle in my mind as to whether or not he loves me.

J Go ahead. Feel free to giggle with me. Sonia definitely disagreed. She was like “No way, Tina. You’ve got it wrong.” You see, Sonia has a bit of a different view on love. Her words exactly, “Love is giving, not receiving.”

Now, I’d hate to think that I have had a selfish view on love this whole time, but Sonia said my idea was “tonta.” Tonta? Hmmmm please tell me more Sonia, because I’m not tonta!!!

She proceeded to tell me, “Do what makes you happy. If you’re interested in him, then give of yourself without expecting anything in return. Don’t even worry about how he perceives it.”

Okay. This was a bit confusing for me. In my opinion, that means I shouldn’t wait for him (hypothetical boy!) to respond, or even continue to initiate conversation. Right? Just keep on keeping on? Because it makes me happy? Because I'm living in the moment? 

Exactly!

That’s exactly what she was telling me! Ah! Mind blowing! Maybe it really is as easy as that? Am I really closed like my host mom says I am???

 “And when my heart is broken, Sonia? When it doesn’t work out?”

“Then you move on, Tina. But, at least you’ll have experienced. You’ll have felt, and you’ll have lived. Everyone has his or her own definition of love, but you cannot place that definition on anyone else. Don’t have expectations. That’s not love. Love is giving what you have, without fear. Open your heart.”

Now my friends, do I agree or disagree? What shall I do with this newfound perspective on love? Of course, I agree with my lively host mother on some things and it was a wonderful opportunity to get to know the real her. And she definitely reminded me that expectations can be very negative. Can I even live up to my own expectations? I can’t. But, there is a fine line to cross (or not cross) when it comes to love, and Sonia has helped me see that line a little clearer whether I agree or disagree with her. One of the advantages of meeting new people – hearing what they have to say and sharing it with others. Wonderful food for thought…..